YESTERDAY MY ANKLES STARTED SWELLING

...granted it was hot and sweaty (I wore ankle strap sandals probably for the last time this whole summer) and I my feet stayed stationary on my hour bus ride home, because of unforseen smelly man sitting waaay to close to me. I went to bed with high hopes of seeing my inside ankle bones again in the morning.

Alas, no such luck. The insides are still resembling a puffer fish and I'm pretty sure I have about 1 pair of shoes that fit my chubby stump feet right now. I'm only a tad bit worried because this technically isn't supposed to happen until my 3rd trimester. And I'm only a tad bit disappointed because I was hoping that by the time this happened I wouldn't be able to see my feet or ankles. I prefer to choose ignorance when it comes to the puffiness of any part of my body.

I was going to post a picture of said ankles, but I can't bring myself to do it. Not yet at least. I need to keep at least the majority of my dignity for another, let's say, 10 weeks, but probably only 6 for sure. So all of the pictures in this post will be of Maggie because I believe she is sorely under appreciated on this blog and the next story is about her.

In other exciting news, Sunday night Maggie blew chunks on our freshly cleaned sheets. J.rue told me he'd take care of (please remember this phrase) the sheets while I got our obnoxiously large and complicated mattress cover off. After about 10 minutes of battling with the cover I headed downstairs to stain spray and sanitize. I took care of the monster pad first and then got the sheets that j.rue had so lovingly crumpled up and thrown to the bottom of the stairs. 

As luck would have it, I put my hand right in the puppy barf. Of course it was silly to assume that the throw-up would actually be "taken care of". Lesson learned, when j.rue "takes care" of dirty sheets he contains the toxic substance and throws it down the stairs. It's fine, I just didn't know. Now I do. So I was loudly dry heaving, while I'm sure my eyeballs were protruding out of their sockets a little further than what is healthy or usual, and trying to get the stomach substances off of the sheets before washing. I knew I was going to loose it, my stomach is still kind of wussy, but I was desperate to not add to the chaos. I really didn't want J.rue to have to "take care" of that either. By the way, I love my husband, and was not upset by him at all during this process. Really, honestly, and truly.

All of a sudden my body kicked into some strange survival mode and I started singing "This Land is Your Land" at the top of my lungs, I even remembered all the words. While this was happening I was contemplating the ridiculousness of the situation but amazed at my subconscious's ability to act so quickly in such dire times. Then I was proud that I could think/sing so many thoughts at once. It's impressive, right? I won't question it. That song got me through the smells and stains, and I'm hoping through 2 am baby blow outs and bloody whatevers. I'll keep you updated.

However, when I was a baby I threw up in my dad's mouth once. Of course it was an accident, as far as I remember, but karma is consistent in catching up to me, so I'm sure there will be lots of barf in my future. Lots.

To round everything off, I've heard that having dogs while pregnant 1) reduces the child's allergies once out of the womb and 2) allows the child to get used to barking and loud noises. I'm praying for both, especially since I've wanted to put a puppy adoption add in the paper more than a few times in the past week. Just kidding, kind of, but not really. But really, I'm sure I'll feel the same way about my kids at some point or another, so the dogs are safe, because they were here first.

...and we love them.

YESTERDAY I RODE THE BUS HOME AGAIN.

While riding the bus I fell asleep, remember how I sang praises to my bus naps? I do not love bus naps anymore. Yesterday I fell asleep and missed by bus stop. Woke up RIGHT as we were leaving. So I had to sweet talk the bus driver to stop on the side of the road to let me of. And then...I walked back to my stop. It didn't look to far, but it actually kind of was. My pride was hurt just a little and honestly I really don't know why. I did feel kind of like a vagabond, with my two oversized bags and all. I really just needed a shopping cart.. I hoped and prayed the whole way back to my car that someone wouldn't honk and wave as they drove by. No one did, and I was saved. But then I just had to laugh because really, why do such ridiculous and embarrassing things happen to me? Maybe they happen to others as well, it's just not written about? I like to think that. If something embarrassing happens to you, do me and yourself a favor, just write about it. You know why? Because it makes you feel better. I love how therapeutic writing is. I really could just write and write for hours. I won't subject you to it though, really because, really you guys.

I've also fallen in love with Carter's. Some of their stuff is a little over the top, but their jammies. Oh! their jammies. And they have lots of good deals. I bought a few little fleece outfits for $5.99 a piece. Honestly, I don't LOVE the fleece, but they look so cozy. And they were $5.99. We will be on the cusp of winters frigid months when she makes her appearance. Poor baby.

Last night we had some of our sweet friends over. I took no pictures because we were just too busy talking and stuffing out faces. They brought us dinner, I told you they were sweet, and she made a white chocolate raspberry cheese cake. With cream. Yes please. Cheesecake making isn't her only talent, she's also going to school for interior design and graciously offered to help me decorate little rue's room. That's what the discussion focused on most of the night. She is so talented, I'm excited to see what we come up with. This is our starting point:

Plus some gold probably. I'm a little in love with gold right now.

YESTERDAY I RODE THE BUS HOME FROM WORK

...and a couple other random things that have been going on in our neck of the woods. Plus random pictures and captions sprinkled in that are totally unrelated. Of course.

We'll start with the bus and how big of a baby I am. At the beginning of May j.rue's work team was transferred up to work at the U. Yay! for me, not so much for him. It about doubles his commute time and the parking sucks, even worse than parking downton SLC. A couple nights after he found out about his move he suggested driving together in the morning and then one of us me taking the bus home. I was not so thrilled on the idea. But then he laid it out for me: my UTA pass: free, driving one car (his) up to the U: not so expensive, driving my car up to the U: A/C but gas hogger expensive, driving both of our cars up to the U every day from Kaysville: ridic. Basically, really ridic.

(J.rue's baby sister, Tori, is safe and sound at the MTC learning her Spanish. We're so proud of her!)

So, we agreed that 2-3 times per week I would ride to work with him and then take the bus home. Honestly, without trying to sound disgustingly bratty, I was dreading it. I don't have anything against riding the actual bus, I just don't handle things I don't know well, like bus schedules, and stops, and how to "tap on, tap off". Dumb I know. But, plus it takes me a tiny bit over an hour to get home when I could get home in 35 minutes driving myself. Again, this is where the compromise comes in and I still get to drive up to SLC basically when I need to.

Back to yesterday, I LOVE THE BUS! Because really I do. I talked on the phone, read an ELLEN book, played Candy Crush (kind of embarrassed about this one, but YOU GUYS, I've been stuck on level 23 for almost a week), and then I napped. Napped! It was lovely and I'm pretty sure that I'm gonna do it again tomorrow. Also, I learned that bus stops aren't that hard. They're just not.

(Little Quinn, my cousin's daughter. I just couldn't squeeze her enough. Oh the rolls! Little Rue please be pleasantly plump)

Secondly, the dogs. If you don't have/like dogs you won't appreciate this and will probably find it slightly repulsive, so just skip it. For those of you with dogs, maybe even just one, I think you will appreciate this, unless the talk of pooing still disgusts you. On Monday we were taking our daily walk and Coop decided to take care of business, so I pulled the poo baggy out and expected this to be probably 1 of 3 AT LEAST. Then to what do my wondering eyes appear? Maggie squats down right next to him and takes care of her business BEFORE I got to Coops. So not only did I use 1 poo bag for 2 dogs, they both only decided to go once. Really, if you don't like dogs and are still reading this, it's really not my fault. You were warned about 4 sentences ago. Any who historic for the Ruesch family. Historic. One poo bag.

My brother, Micah, graduated from seminary on Sunday and has HS graduation tonight. I really can't believe it?! Then he'll be off on a mission and I'll cry for about 2 years)

Is it dumb that I've already bought my baby a swim suit for next summer? Kind of, unless it's ruffled, bowed, and polka dotted, right? J.rue doesn't think so.

Lastly, and most importantly, did you know that Wendy's can put a frosty in waffle cone? Yes you just read that sentence correctly. A frosty in a real life waffle cone. I haven't even gotten to try one because every time we've gone the line has been at least 12 deep. I'm not that patient.

PINS & NEEDLES

Just so you know, this post is basically as dumb, if not dumber, than yesterday. My mind is just so focused on tomorrow at 5:30 that my fingers can't come up with very good words. So, you might just want to stop here. Unless you have a really boring desk job and honestly have nothing better to do. Also, I'm looking for pregnancy pillow advice, so if you have any, please comment and share. Thanks.

My limbs are starting to go numb. Morning, evening, and night. During the day I've resorted to restless legs, because I've seen varicose veins, ouch. The nighttime is not so easy. So, I've been researching different kinds of body pillows. No matter what, they seem like they will take up a significant amount of bed. I'm getting to the point where I don't care. I've always been a side sleeper, but I think I was also part back sleeper as well, and since that's really not the best option, you know numb limbs and all. It also may be time to kick the fur kids out of bed. Yes, our dogs, both, sleep with us. We're gross, I know.

Anyway, this is what I've found:

Boppy sleep wedge

Leachco Snoogle Total Body Pillow

Leachco Back 'N Belly Sleep Pillow

Cozy Comfort Pregnancy Pillow

Number 4 is very tempting, but I don't want to take up our whole queen, so I'm leaning more towards the 3rd. I need some solid back and front support. My only question is, where in the heck do you store this while it's not in use? Maybe it will make for a nice TV pillow.

Told you, dumb post. Tomorrow's will be better, promise.

THINGS THAT I KNOW TO BE TRUE ON THIS DAY

1. I know that, if you walk into a bathroom and it smells like poo, you will almost ALWAYS walk into the stall that someone just pooed in. Why?

2. I know that button up shirts in my closet should now be retired  but they're not. It's cold and I like them, so it either needs to warm up or my boobs need to stop growing. I'm counting on the weather. V-neck Ts are much more forgiving.

3. I know that on the days that I'm hoping and praying that just one of my appointments won't show up, they in fact will, on time. There will also be 6 other students who have a "quick question" of the utmost importance that I must answer right then and  only then. Actually, I could write a novel about why students bug me. Maybe I will when I quit my job one day. At least a really long blog post. Really long.

4. I know that however many carbs I eat today, I will still feel sick and still feel hungry. I know, I know, I should eat protein. I don't want to. Am I allowed to say that I'm tired of being pregnant yet? Probably not, but I am most days. Thank goodness for those little moments when I can just sit (or lay) and have a quiet conversation with my baby, urging him or her for a little flutter movement. We haven't gotten to that point in our relationship yet. I'm hoping for soon.

5. I know that I have the most loving and supportive husband and that we were meant to be together. Some days I forget that and I need to take time to recognize it more often. He really just is the whole package. Plus some. Hubba.

6. I know that I will be getting something delicious for lunch and I also know that I will have a strong urge to instagram it. Don't worry, I won't.

7. I feel like this blog post is starting to feel melancholy, probably because that's how I'm feeling today. I don't really want this post to feel like this, or myself, because really, I shouldn't be feeling melancholy. Isn't it a pretty word? While I'm good at faking the utmost highest quality of pep and smiles in person, I'm not so good at doing it in my writing. So, I'll end for the day and hope that something a little more exciting comes out of my fingers tomorrow.

THE DOCTORS OFFICE LOST MY URINE SAMPLE

...so I had to do another. Do you remember how much I said pregnancy pee cup samples bother me? So much. They told me I could just set it on the same counter as before once I was done, but I made sure to directly hand mine to the nurse, because I will not be happy if more of my urine gets lost again.

This appointment totally snuck up on me. I didn't remember until this morning when I was getting dressed, and then I decided to find some lighter clothing. Because, you know. I did luck out though. The office was a ghost town so I was taken right back and the doctor saw me about 2 minutes later, just as I was getting settled in to return some emails. Rude, right? I know I said I wouldn't be mentioning weight again, but I about fell off the scale when the nurse told me I hadn't gained a pound this whole 14 weeks. That I can live with. I'm sure my reaction will be much different in the next 4 weeks, so when I don't say anything, don't be alarmed.

J.rue couldn't make it to this appointment, not that he really needed to, like I said, boring. But I made sure to call and put him on speaker phone to hear the heartbeat. It was fun because we didn't get to actually hear the heartbeat last time. Poor us, we just got an ultrasound. The heartbeat was at 143 bpm, which apparently is very very good. Actually the doctor just acted very pleased with my baby growing during the whole appointment, so I've decided I like him.

Afterwards, I treated the fetus and myself to a jamba juice and we headed back to work to finish out our day.

Also, I've decided that j.rue and I are quite boring and I always have to scrounge for a picture to add to my totally unrelated posts. Reasons being 1. he gets home late and 2. I'm a lazy turd after the hour of 6 pm. A combo that's not in our favor. But without further ado: shoe shopping for j.rue. Probably one of the most dreadful married obligatory activities I have participated in during our marriage. Boy is indecisive. I won't even tell you how many times we've been to Dick's to look at the same shoes. I also won't tell you the new jokes we come up with each time we visit.

TOUCHE UNIVERSE

Dear Karma,

After the 6th time, I've finally learned my lesson.

Love, Chelsea

I've always had the goal to get ready every day. I think it's important, as shallow as that sounds, for my self esteem. Putting on makeup takes a whole 8 minutes, laying out my clothes may take 6 (if I'm indecisive for the day) and pulling my hair into a decent do doesn't even take 4. So, why is it so hard for me to do it every day? Really, 18 minutes. And I swear to you every day it happens my day just goes oh so much better. When it doesn't happen, that's when karma jumps in.

For those of you who don't know I'm an academic advisor for my alma mater, aka satan's Utah school. I interact with at least 20 different people on a daily basis. You would think after 2 years I would have caught on quicker, but no. Sometimes (today) I still find myself traipsing into work with not a lick of mascara and the same pants I've worn since Monday. But then, it happens. I run into people that I knew before this thing called marriage. Before marriage I looked a little bit different, and by different I mean better, I'm just being honest. Like when I'm at Noodles during my lunch and run into the boy that I relentlessly made out with for the better half of 2007 (shut up you did it too), or the girl that I went to Lagoon with in middle school, and even better, freshman year room mates. My first question always is, am I wearing a bra? Just kidding, I almost always make it out the door with a bra. Especially lately, yowza. Really, my first question is, "why did I not take less than 20 minutes to make myself look decent?" My second question to myself is, "did I REALLY forget to put on deodorant today?" The answer to that one is sometimes, more often than I'd like, yes. Really, you know you wouldn't like me as much if I lied.

This morning was a dorm acquaintance, and while we weren't close, we ran around kissing the same group of boys and giggling with the same girls. You know?

Needless to say, I now have a lovely full face of makeup on and it only took me 8 minutes.

WOE IS ME

Rugs give me grief, and not in the cute middle-school flirty type of way. As I've mentioned before, I've been bitten by a bug and it's making me crazy for re-decorating my front room. And while I've known that it would be a slow and tumultuous process, I didn't think the rug would be in the center of it all. The one you see above is my second attempt and there are two more on the way. For some reason, I'm letting the rug set the precedence for the rest of the room. When I started my thought process I was planning on the furniture being in charge, but that's not happening either.

In the beginning, there was a couch, in the most lovely of grey colors. Then it was decided that that couch needed two white chaired companions, and I thought everything was good. Until the rug. In my mind I wanted geometric, and I wanted those geometrics to be in lovely contrasting shades of black and white. For real actual white. Did you know that (in my price range) when they say white, they actually mean extremely off white? Did you also know that stark white and extremely off white are mortal enemies? It's true.

My dreams of white chairs are slowly being dashed. Ever so slowly. Just this morning I have been scouting out off white chairs, but to no avail. Just a heads up, I'm not the cray cray lady who wants all white furniture. All couches and chairs will be from Ikea, which will include removable, washable, and replaceable covers.

I wish I had a million dollars so I could 1) pay someone to do all the work for me while I sit back and sip a peach flavored beverage and 2) buy all of my items from other places besides Urban Outfitters and Ikea. I actually love both, one just keeps conflicting with the other. So rude.

Also, I bought an obnoxiously large atlas tapestry to hang on my wall. It's much too long and will probably make the small room much too busy. 

I'm hanging it anyway. 

Tonight.

p.s. 90% of room and items in said room above will either be removed, changed, or painted. Or I might just leave it if I can't make up my mind.

AWKWARD PHOTO FRIDAY

...no this is not going to become a real thing. I just found this LOVEly picture of myself and had to share it:

And now for the back story. All four of us were enjoying a lovely meal at P.F. Chang's in downtown SLC and we asked our (very flamboyant) waiter to take a picture of us. I have no issues with flamboyancy, it pertains to the next two sentences, promise. I think he just took one photo and after we asked him if all our eyes were open, smiling, etc. In his most flamboyant manner he said that we all look FABULOUS!, handed back the camera to my SIL, and was on his way with the tiniest of hip swishes.

Of course we pulled up the picture on the screen and that, up there, is what we saw. Yes, 3/4 of us have our eyes open, smiles, etc. I still to.this.day. cannot figure out how he thought this was me at my best? Rude. Maybe he thought my husband was smokin' hot (well, he is) and could have done much better? So this was his way of punishing me? We'll never know.

My SIL then promply put this lovely gem up on facebook, but thank goodness it was lost in the archives until today. And for that, you are welcome.

So there you have it! Awkward photo Friday. If you like it, let me know. I'm sure I could dig up some doosies EASILY.

Hip Hip Hooray for WEEKENDS!

MY FIRST EXPERIENCE WITH LAUGHING GAS

Picture #1 was taking right after the mask was put on my face. Picture #2 was taken about 5 minutes later. I know what you're thinking. I'm adorable.

Last Friday I made the trek to Clinton to get some cavities filled. I had three. That's more than I've ever had in my life combined. Boo. I had also never been offered laughing gas. I came highly recommended by my SIL Melinda, so when it was offered up I was down. At first I just felt silly and didn't really think it was going to do much. HA! About five minutes after I had settled in the dentist came to check on me and get started. He asked how I was feeling and I informed him that I was pretty sure the gas had just kicked in. He made a comment about how I was watching QVC (there was a TV on the ceiling, glory hallelujah!) and then I went on to give him probably the longest explanation about how our channels didn't go that high, and probably because my husband knew that I would spend too much money if we had it and also that he could barely afford me as it was. So, we started off with a nice TMI, that isn't even true I might add. We don't have cable because at this moment in my life, I don't believe in it. However, opinions may be changed, so don't quote me.

I then proceeded to ask him about as many questions possible. How many shots? How long? How many tools? Were they going to suck my spit? Would it taste bad? WILL I BE ABLE TO FEEL IT? He patiently answered all of my questions and then got to work. The first shot was a doosie. It went in at my second tooth and exited at who knows where, I swear somewhere in the back of my throat. And actually, the second shot was a doosie as well. I informed him that I would be keeping my eyes closed at this part. After he finished up the shots they left me to my own accord for a few minutes.

I was pleasantly surprised while channel surfing that Boy Meets World was on. I figured that if Cory and Topanga couldn't get me through this, no one could. So I sat there for the next 30 minutes scheming ways to get Topanga's hair and how to bring a Chubby's to Kaysville. I'm sad to report that I don't remember the genius solutions that were concocted. 

After BMW was over I decided to do some more channel surfing, except that I could only get 2 channels; 1 with a cartoon Santa and a boring CNN news channel or something. I swear I was only pressing the "up arrow", but you know, my swears are all relative when I'm high as a kite. So, I surrendered, muted the TV, and started eves dropping on my dentist's convo with the hygienist  I honestly can't tell you what they were talking about, but I do know that they were conspiring against someone and it was NOT okay that I was listening. Plus, I'm pretty sure I missed about 80% of the juicy deets, darn you BMW!!! Then I thought that if we made a dentist movie everyone would want to watch it, because how could you not want to watch a movie about a dentist? Right? Yeah, me neither. I decided to close my eyes because I couldn't handle such drama and I started swinging back and forth. Those of you who spend your youth at Lagoon, you know the boat ride? The one that swings higher and higher until you swear you're going to swing all the way around? I was doing that. But I swung all the way around after a while. Twice. That's when I decided it might be a good idea to keep my eyes open. I was nauseous. Bad.

After a while of listening to their scandalous  who knows what they were talking about convo the dentist ran his fingers along the inside of my mouth and at that moment, I was pretty sure that he had taken out all of my teeth on that side of my mouth. Then the panic set in. How in the world was I going to tell J.rue that he was going to have to pay for at least 5 new teeth! What if the teeth didn't match the others?! Oh the agony! Then he told me to bite down and I realized that I did not, in fact, need to have j.rue buy me new teeth. Then I was asked a series of questions to which I responded "I'm too out of it to answer your questions, try again later." Oi.

I sat for a little longer and suddenly realized that I was very aware of my uterus. It felt totally relaxed and at peace. My first thought was that I needed to order some of this jazz for personal use once a month, because I'm pretty sure it could conquer my cramps. Second, my uterus told me that I shouldn't have any problem having kids. Thanks uterus, that makes me feel better.

Not long after that, he was finished. They changed my gas to oxygen and I remember he saying to take big deep breaths. Did I take big deep breaths. No. I was too busy thinking, "They're actually going to let me drive home!" Which they did. After I took about 10 minutes deciding which card to charge my bill too. Very important decisions, you know. I was still nauseous and I was positive that I had the biggest fattest lip you ever did saw, by the way. So I floated to the car, yes I actually drove home. I was going to wait for a few minutes, but the man in the waiting room made me nervous. I could basically read his soul through his eyes. (At this point I hope you are taking my words as they were seen through my laughing gas mind, no my regular sane mind).

I got in the car, un-bottoned my pants (because I was nauseous!) called Melinda and told her that I was going to sleep at her house and then called J.rue. Poor, poor J.rue. The second we got on the phone (while he was at work) the water works came. I told him that I was crying, but I didn't know why. That I was so sorry that I called him at work. That I needed someone on the phone with me because I shouldn't really be driving (I promise I was really fine at this point, just emotional), and that I was sorry I forgot to do that thing he asked me to do before the dentist. Thank goodness Melinda lives about 5 minutes away from the dentist. So, I let j.rue get back to work, I went and laid down on the floor, had a good cry for another 20 minutes and then passed out (as in went to sleep, sorry you must think I'm cray cray by now). I was woken up by my sweetest niece, and then told this story, just as I've told you now. Sans mascara streaks on my face from the crying.

So it's 5 days till Christmas! I can hardly stand it! Actually 4 days, because Christmas Eve is my fav. Maybe I'll post tomorrow, maybe not. But if not, see you after!

I'M A TURKEY

We'll start this post off by saying that this picture is of me at work. in my jammie pants. Here's how it went down...

J.rue threw off my morning by leaving at 6 am rather than sometime after I leave at 6:30. So, of course I enjoyed having the whole dang bed to myself for a tad bit longer than I usually do. Approximately until 6:20. Don't worry, I was still backing out of my driveway at 6:30. I'm a champion at fast get-readys and get out, my teeth were even brushed.

As I was driving down I-15, while singing some rendition of some Christmas song, I noticed that whatever pants I had pulled of my chair to throw on were extremely comfortable. Then I looked down, did a little swerve (just kidding), and paniced. Because I cannot wear jammie pants at work! I actually had a talk with my boss last summer and he declared pajamas the only non-work appropriate attire for our office. That and being naked. Yes, I know I have an awesome job. That which I am THANKFUL for!

Back to the not-pants pants. I started planning out how I would pull this off. I could sit at my desk and never get up for 10 hours OR at least while I was seeing my students. Then, I remembered that I did one of those awkward change in the cars ordeals (you know the sports bra over the...and the pant on top of the...and then the car drives up next you and...duck! NAKED) So, I had pants. It's a Thanksgiving miracle! I surely do not match, but like it said, at least it's not jammie pants.

Apparently, I have turkey on the brain. Know why? Because I have 4 Thanksgivings this year. Jealous? You should be.

Thanksgiving #1 happened last Saturday at my MIL's home. I made the green bean casserole (not good) and we  stuffed out faces all afternoon. It was the perfect Thanksgiving kick-off.

Gosh, I need one of these...baby that is.

This one has nothing to do with Thanksgiving, except for the fact that I'm thankful for him. Also, for her:

Shockingly enough, I only pulled my camera out at the beginning and once at the end. So yes, we were joined in feast with these lovely family members, but I failed to take better pictures of them and feast #1. Rest assured, it was delicious.

Later that night my mom took me and a friend to see the last Twilight. I'm not the hugest Twilight fan, but I do have to say that this one was the most well done. Plus, Jacob gets almost naked and I'm down with almost naked Jacob any day. 

On the docket for this weekend (which starts today at 5 pm YAY!!!) 

-Thanksgiving at Snow Basin with my fam on actual Thanksgiving

-Thanksgiving with j.rue's extended fam on Saturday

-Thanksgiving with my fam again because my mom feels guilty about not cooking a feast on Sunday

I'll make sure to post before and after picture of my doomed waistline. 

Happy Gobble Gobble!!!