Sunday, October 22, 2017

Words for my Babies

Dear Ellie, Fitz, and Liam,

I've been sparsely updating this blog for the past 7-8 years, and while I've been doing it to record our history, I've been writing it mostly with the idea that other people will be reading it, others besides you. That's all well and good, but I'm really hoping if I shift my focus and dedicate this blog to recording you for you, that I will do a much better job at doing it. All of you deserve it. You're each so special.

Ellie Bean: I'm so sorry. I've missed the most of your first 4 years and it makes my heart ache a little everytime I think about it. I'll do better baby girl, I promise. You are so spunky sis. Something I hope you don't remember about your first 4 years is that I didn't get down on the floor and play with you as much as you or I would have liked. Today all you wanted was to play with me. So, we played princess and unicorn. You were the princess and I was your unicorn. We roped your dad and Fitzy into playing with us and you both rode around on our backs and you both giggled and fed us imaginary carrots. It was the best. I promise to get on the floor and play with you every day. You keep me honest and you are truly my dream come true. I didn't think I'd ever get to have a little girl and if you end up being my only one, I'll be deliriously happy with all of the mother/daughter times we have to come.

Fitzy: You're having a bit of a hard time adjusting to being the middle child. Luckily, you're not taking it out on your brother. In fact, you have nothing but kisses and love for him. I think it was a very long 2 years that you boys spent apart and I'm so happy that you're reunited together again. Anyway, you're throwing a few extra tantrums and are a bit more clingy than usual. I hope I never forget how you call me over by saying, "mere! mere!" (come here!).  You curl your cute little hand and I have about 10 seconds to follow or else you get ticked. Luckily, you're still my sweet little boy and you'll always hold a special place in my heart. You're such a cuddle bug and you give the best kisses ever.

Liam: You're 5 weeks old and really couldn't be the more perfect baby. You're eating so well. At night you'll go 4-5 hour stretches before you wake again and you only cry when you're hungry. Well, you do just like a good snuggle once in a while too, and it's usually when I'm trying to get all 4 of us ready and out the door in a hurry. It's a good reminder to slow down a bit. Sometimes I get too busy and I tend to put you down when I could be holding you just as easily. I'm trying to do better at that because the moments when I hold you are some of my sweetest. You're beginning to give me the tiniest smiles and whether or not they're gas, I'd like to think they're for me. I'm so excited to watch you play with your brother and sister and what elements you bring to our family sweet babe.

So, my loves, these words are for you, every single one. I hope you enjoy your memories and pictures, but mostly I hope it reminds you how much I love each of you, no matter what. I promise.

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