THIS POST IS ABOUT CHRISTMAS. BUT NOT IN THE WAY YOU'RE THINKING.

DECK THE HALLS WITH BOUGHS OF HOLLY FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

Just kidding. I'm not quite ready for those kinds of posts yet. I actually turned on some Christmas music on the way to work this morning and it just wasn't working for me. I was actually taken aback by this. I'm actually okay to listen to Christmas music in July. So I've hypothesized the following reasons:

a) Too early in the morning. Possible but doubtful

b) No snow on the ground.

c) "Simply having a wonderful Christmas-time"

d) It hasn't already been Thanksgiving

I'm really going to have to go with "C" with maybe a little "D"  and "B" mixed in, because that is by far, my friends, the worst Christmas song ever invented. Add in no snow and a skipped holiday. Not pretty. Luckily I had Tina Fey to entertain me so I wasn't too disheartened. By the way, if you want to pee your pants a little, you might want to get Tina Fey's audio book Bossy Pants. But only the audio book BECAUSE Ms. Fey herself reads it, and I just can't imagine it any other way. Plus, her Sarah Palin audio sketch is on there. Merry early Christmas.

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Anyway...the point of this post was to remind myself (because lets remember, this is a journal) that when I say that I'm not decorating for Christmas next year...I'm lying. Up until maybe last week, I was claiming NO Christmas decor would be gracing Ruesch Manor. Okay, well maybe Christmas lights, because J.Rue wants them, bad. 

Okay, and also the tree, because J.Rue also said that would be so sad if we didn't put up a tree. What I don't understand is that the boy is home for about an hour a day? Whatevs. I was actually okay with the tree because...(this is where I get to my actual story)

About 3 years ago I bought a pre-lit tree with white lights. The only kind of lights I believe should go on a tree. I know, I'm racist. So, I think I bought it after Christmas for super cheap and left it at my mom's house, because basically we spend Dec. 22-28 with our parents and don't really make it home (yet another reason that Christmas decor at our house is kind of a silly idea). Yep, getting to the point...I left the tree at my mom's house and totally forgot about it. The next year I called to tell her I was coming to pick it up. My mom proceeded to tell me that there was no such pre-lit white light Christmas tree at her house.

I scoffed, because really, who looses a Christmas tree? Not I. That is for sure. Being the slightly turdish person that I am, I asked her to go and look again. Results? No white light Christmas tree. She was convinced that I had taken it home. I'm pretty sure she swore on my brother's life or something. BUT have you seen our house? It's about 1000 square feet. In my expert opinion, you CANNOT loose a regular sized Christmas tree in 1000 square feet. Maybe a Charlie Brown, but not a regular.

Did I mention I was in full Christmas decorating mode that year? Well I was. Luckily, my MIL lent us a tree. A cute tree, I might add, with colored lights. I stand by my white light policy, but I wanted a tree up in a bad way. And really, colored lights aren't too shabby. I just like them on the outside of my house better.

As the next few Christmases came and went, this little flamboyant tree graced our front picture window never causing any problems, and I began to grow fond of it. Slightly. Now to the good part of the story...about 3 months ago I came home and there was a really reeeally large box on my doorstep. I quickly did a mind inventory of my recent online purchases. Nothing fit that size and description. Thank goodness! I'm pretty sure J.Rue would have been not so happy with me ordering anything of that stature online, without at least telling him. So yay! a present! In August! I drug (is that a word? I mean, I know it's a word. But in that context?) the heavy box inside and quickly ripped it open. Want to know what I found? A cute pre-lit white light Christmas tree. MY cute pre-lit Christmas tree.

So guess who does loose Christmas trees? My mom. Guess who still won't admit to putting it on my doorstep? My mom. Don't worry, I'm not unfairly incriminating her. The receipt from 2009 was taped onto the box. It still causes contention between us. Maybe contention isn't the right word, but I do use it as defense ammo. She still unfairly teases me about holding my breath and passing out when I didn't get my way (I, of course, have outgrown this), so it's only fair.

So, I will be decorating this year. The day after Thanksgiving. Just so I can display my new/old Christmas tree. Now, I know some of you are thinking, "what about your cute little flamboyant tree?" Well, I'm not sure  my sweet sensitive readers. But rest assured, it will have a good home. Either set up in my basement (because who doesn't want more than 1 Christmas tree!!!) or back into the arms of it's original owner, my MIL. Who, in my opinion, is the best Christmas tree decorator this side of the Mississippi. Any tree would be lucky to have her.

Happy Thanksgristmas!

I'm sure Target or Wal-Mart will be contacting me shortly to buy the rights to that amazing word mesh. Stay tuned...