SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED TO WRITE

why this photo? because i have absolutely nothing else for you right now, but every good blog post has a picture, you know?

...and for me that sometimes just happens to be right now. in the middle of the day. at 10:48 am on a Tuesday. I miss blogging every day. I loved the outlet and the release and the recording of my somewhat mundane, but oh so beautiful life. So, I am going to start writing again. Maybe every day. I haven't quite made that executive decision yet.

Want to know something silly? Since I got a real bonafide camera with more than 6 megapixels, aka my phone, I've shyed away from posting pictures. I got this unruly thought in my head that since I had an actual camera I had to take actual good pictures. That's not true right? That would also mean planning in advance and loading my photos onto my reeeaaally slow and ancient, but still beloved, mac (mac lovah fo' life!). I'm not good at that, planning posts in advance. I kind of like to fly by the seat of my pants, but just barely. and just with my blog. because it's just mine.

you're in luck! i've found another photo to spice up this post. it's my absolute most favorite candy store. and I cannot CANNOT leave without at least $10 worth of candy. it would be a sin again nature.

The other reason I stopped blogging every day? I got intimidated. I was worried that people thought what I was writing about was pointless and dumb. Which, it actually is most of the time, not to me, but maybe to you? But now I'm thinking, sad, why can't I just write about whatever I want and own it? Why am I worried that someone in Atlanta that I've never met (or someone Kaysville who I love) doesn't approve of my thoughts or opinions? And then I was like, I'm okay with it, and then I was. Well am. Yes I am okay with it. One of my most favorite things about reading a blog is going back to their beginnings and watching them evolve as a person, writer, whatever they end up being. I am one of those creepers that start from the beginning, and I LOVE IT.

Not that I expect anyone to start my blog from the beginning. Quite frankly, frank, I would be kind of embarrassed if you did. It's fine though, because I want to be able to look back and see how I've evolved for myself. I love seeing that I've changed and evolved, just to make sure that I'm not becoming stagnant. Stagnant, I think that's the right use for the word? But I don't know? I feel like it means smelly and if I didn't change I think that would be the equivalent of not changing my underpants (which i DO, sometimes multiple times a day) which would get smelly, which I do not ever want to be. I would rather face my fears of change than be a pair of smelly underpants. How boring a life that would be!

Also, I'm not a very feely person in real life, meaning that I don't much like to talk about how I'm feeling. I'm like a man in that way. Such a man. You can talk and talk and talk about your fears, worries, and regrets and I'll be right there with you, holding your kleenex box or rooting you on, but there's something about sharing my own vulnerability that makes my forehead crinkle and make me want to cover my face in my hair (melinda, I'm pretty sure you'll be the only person that gets that). So, blogging is healthy for me. Obv I'm not going to tell you awkward things like if I ever poop my pants or how I feel about our nation's president, because 1. I never plan on pooping my pants and 2. I do not suspect that my opinions will ever, single-handedly getting someone to the white house. ever.

If my ramblings make your blood boil, you can stop reading, for realsies. I'll probably never know. And I do plan on still writing about things that make my blood boil, but in a happy way. an obsessive, excited, dreamy sort of way, like this for example.

AHHH it feels good to be regular again.

stop it. now.

Plus, I've missed important recordings like my birthday, and my first ever girls trip, which just happened to be quite the success. Now, to start uploading my photos. right? right? yes.