I have to be totally honest, this pregnancy was, and sometimes still is, a huge leap of faith. Fitz's first year of life was one of my hardest. It wasn't completely his fault, but his disdain for sleep was a big contributing factor. Really, in all honesty though, it was the hormones and a lot of growing up that needed to happen anyway. I still wouldn't trade it. It was However, once Fitz turned one, he became a dream napper and night sleeper, just like that! I was finally able to start working out regularly. I didn't feel overwhelmed by life in general. Oh, and I stopped nursing, which I'm pretty sure caused a ridiculous amount of anxiety on its own. I finally felt like myself and it was a beautiful thing.
When Fitz turned 1, I knew our next baby was itching to get here. I had been fighting it and would continue to do so, well, until I got pregnant. I didn't want to give up my body or energy again. Mostly, I didn't want to give up the feeling of finally feeling like I was an active participant in my life again. Sound dramatic? I tend to do that, but it's true.
I got a positive pregnancy test on January 21st and I was nothing but ecstatic. The realization didn't sink in until later and then all of the worries set in. I have kind of miserable first trimesters with lots of throwing up. So my first order of business was to convince myself that this pregnancy would be different. I made it until about 6 weeks and then the nausea set in. Luckily, Diclegis had been invented since my pregnancy with Fitz and while I felt consistent nausea and exhaustion I only threw up when I forgot to take my meds the night before. It was a heaven sent blessing.
Those 8 weeks are always the hardest for me, and they get more and more so each time because I still have tiny people who need me constantly. When I was pregnant with Fitz I would lay on the couch and throw pieces of bread at Ellie to feed her until Jeremy got home while intermittently throwing up. It was ridiculous. Luckily, this time there were only a few days where I couldn't look at food, but still, we made it through our entire Disney library at least 19 times and have watched more Netflix than I'll ever admit. One of the things that I love about having September/October babies, I'm sick during February and March, and nothing exciting happens in February and March. By the time it warms up I feel great and am ready to hit the pools...in a maternity swimsuit (ugh!)
The kids handled it really well. They played together more than they ever have, and I've loved watching their relationship develop. Still, I think we were all excited to take off to Hawaii and get out of the house. Amazingly enough, the day after we got to Hawaii I got off of Diclegis and only had a few sick moments the whole 2 weeks. Since then I've felt pretty good in that regard and I thank my lucky stars every day! I still have several food aversions. This time it's guacamole, salads with meat, and eggs. The eggs have carried over all 3 pregnancies, which drives me nuts because it takes me almost 6 months after to get over it every time.
I'm still really really tired and I have a small disdain for all of the girls that get their energy back in the second trimester. Ok, not really, but I just really really wish that was me. My energy has gone up from zero though, so I can't complain too much. I've also noticed this time around that I have to budget my energy stores and it has been the most frustrating thing so far. If I wake up early, exercise, or just "go" too much during the day, I almost have a crash for the 2 days after. It's made sitting down throughout the day easier to justify, but so dumb when I'm trying to get things done, because getting up after sitting down is rough even when you're not pregnant. Am I right?! I've had to give myself a lot of grace and let a lot of things go, which is never easy.
Summer, we're ready for you!